Wednesday, 16 December 2015

I'M UNHAPPY WITH MY BLOG!


I'm unhappy.


With life? Yes, but that can be a discussion for another post. 

I'm unhappy with my blog.

I hate the content, the photography, the layout, I hate it all. I know many people say this about their blogs, and I never wanted to feel this way because I absolutely love blogging. Please don't take this in the wrong way, because starting a blog is one of the best decisions I have ever made.

I have had a love for reading and writing ever since I was born (insert cliche paragraph here), so writing stories and giving advice on the internet was second nature to me. I used to go on the CBBC website all the time and express my thoughts through words, and create stories constantly, I used to love being able to escape reality by entering the fiction in my head. 

This then led me to start a blog, I created one when I was around 13 (ish) and looking back it is the funniest thing ever, honestly just ask Shannice and Holly, I sent screenshots in the group chat. I wrote tips and tricks like how to stop your mirror from steaming up the shower... (if you're interested, I said the solution was wiping shampoo on the mirror, washing it off, then it wouldn't steam up, someone please try that out haha). My bio was brilliant, I announced my love of reading and writing, but I didn't forget to state that "I'm not a boffin", and that I had pale skin like Robert Pattinson (twilight obsessed). Then I found out recently that I had created another blog a year or two after, which was possibly, if not definitely, worse. I wrote a 'note to self' for future Becky in year 7, 8 and 9. I would never be able to share it with you, it was that cringe-worthy (I basically confessed my love for this lad in my year, I said I would marry him... soz Billy).

And now here I am. 

This blog all started after I went on holiday, and my parents met up with another family (as you do when you're abroad) and the man asked me what I wanted to do in the future. After basically saying something along the lines of writing/media, he asked me if I had a blog. It honestly struck me right there and then, the missing piece of the puzzle... I was to start a blog. Erm, that never happened (I'm not counting my shambles of a blog from years ago), until I went to a Uni opening day, and one of the graduates said how it looked amazing on a UCAS application if you had a blog. I took these as my signs and began to start one (and tried to make it at least a little better than my others).

Originally I posted my thoughts on here, I even went as far to post about the work I was doing in school (not sure anyone would be really interested in my Theology and Media rambles). Then I found the blogging community and got started up on Blog Lovin. I started creating posts and one day I was nominated for the 'Liebster Award' by FabDaisy11, and I've been in love with blogging ever since...

But now I'm unhappy with my blog. I find it hard to write good content, I'm stuck between creating short and simple, easy to read posts (so hopefully you guys don't get bored of reading), or creating lengthy, photo heavy posts (but then I'm worried that no one can be bothered to read them). I hate the way I have been writing recently, it's not my style at all, although sometimes it is fun to write slang and include humour, but I get jealous of other people's writing styles, and I want to improve my own. I've got into photography too! Ever since starting the blog, my love has grown, and for that I am thankful. My wonderful boyfriend got me a Canon camera for my birthday, I keep wanting to take it off the shelves, blow away the dust and bring my blog to life with photos of my adventures (unfortunately living the poor student life at the minute, so that's a challenge).

I also feel like a lot of the blogging community just want to be 'beauty bloggers', to fit in, and I sometimes feel like I have to do that. I've never really been into makeup, I prefer to blog about other lifestyle aspects like travel, hauls, rambles and rants etc. I'm not one to stick to trends or to create a platform for a niche audience, I have many interests, and I like to experiment with my blog, thus I want to create different posts for you, if you don't mind. Obviously, I will continue to blog about beauty, as I do love hair care, skin care, and makeup, but I love creating content about other aspects of my life!

Blogging is my hobby. It's not something I decided to do to work with brands, or get lots of followers. I genuinely have a passion for writing and creating content online, and that's shown since my younger days (I'm an old soul), back when I didn't even know brands and bloggers could work together. I have had a few opportunities with working with brands, on testing and reviewing products, which is always exciting I won't lie, but blogging is still a hobby, and something I love to do. I'm just unhappy, I feel like some people these days don't actually read blogs, they just comment in hopes of gaining more views and followers on their own, which is sad, because I genuinely love all the blogs I follow and try my best to keep up to date with every single one. I think it's lovely to leave comments, communicate on social media, make friends with others in the blogging community, so I think I'm unhappy with how isolated I feel, I feel some bloggers with higher followers and "better blogs" don't look twice at blogs like mine. I'm not big on using social media platforms to promote my blog either, I just share my personal platforms with you, and have recently created a Twitter account for my blog, which I hardly use. I feel like no one interacts with me because I have hardly any followers, I think numbers do go to some peoples head, but they'd never go to mine. 

I'm so completely grateful for the people that have been loyal, and been a continuous reader and commenter (is that a word?), I have 228 followers via Blog Lovin (my profile and blog messed up, so it appears I have more on my profile now ah). I never, ever, thought I would get one single comment or follower on my blog, when I first started out all those years back no one ever followed me or left a comment, I had no views, and now I feel so lucky to get some comments here and there, and the occasional follow. It's not all about the numbers, but sometimes it's nice to make a blogger feel better by leaving a nice comment, and interacting with them, sometimes I just get really down.

Sorry for an absolute ramble of a post, like I said earlier, I know most people won't read this, and I don't blame you, my emotions are literally pouring from my head here, and my fingers are typing at 100 mph trying to get everything down. Thank you to the people that have stuck by me, and made an effort to read my blog, comment on it, follow me, interact with me, it means the world. 

IF ANYONE'S FEELING THE SAME WAY, FEEL FREE TO LEAVE ME YOUR SOCIAL MEDIA HANDLES/BLOG LINKS, IF YOU'RE WANTING SOMEONE TO TALK TO! XOXO B. 
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19 comments

  1. Hey B! You know what? I've been feeling pretty much the same. I love writing, and it's the reason I started blogging in the first place. I don't understand how people can only do it for the views and to get recognised. Anyway, I totally get what you mean about twitter though. I feel like I don't fit in at all, because I have only about 100 followers and i really don't like promoting my blog using an app, but I feel like I have to conform. That's another thing. I want to write more about what I'm interested in, not just beauty and makeup reviews, although i do love writing them.
    Hope you're having a wonderful day :)

    Lots of love,
    Marshmallow Skye
    xoxo
    http://marshmallowskies28.blogspot.co.uk/

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    1. Heyyy!!!! Thank you so much for the lovely comment, you are one of the few friends I've made through the blogging community, and that makes me so happy, you've always been so kind so thank you so much! I totally get you, it's hard being a blogger, some days you feel like you have to conform to fit in, but then other days you don't want to, but in result feel a bit lonely! I'm in such a ranting mood tonight, I hope you're having a wonderful day too chick! xxxx

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  2. Awww this post becky 💔 I love your blog so much don't be sad, we can have another bloggers day out soon and write fab blog posts xxx

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  3. So relatable! I haven't been wanting to write posts lately because I'm unhappy with my blog in general. Like you, I really love it but something just isn't there. I'm also having a hard time with my niche and dealing with school, I haven't been able to focus on my blog.

    I personally love your layout though and I hope we can both figure things out! :)

    Madison // Mads Maybe

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    1. Thank you SO much for the lovely comment Madison! Glad I'm not feeling alone in this! Im happy I found your blog I'm gonna be keeping up to date with it, hope you get through it too! I recently started university so the stress is unreal!!xxxxxx

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  4. I completely understand what you mean, I am often feeling the same way. Just like you I started blogging when I was around 14 (and eventually deleted the blog because I felt like I had nothing to say) and then finally created a new blog when I was 18. And in the beginning I was mainly blogging to please the audience and I hardly got any views let alone comments. Then I realised that there is no point in blogging just to keep others happy so I started to write about things I was really interested in and that was when I became passionate about blogging (not that I always manage to blog about things I'm passionate about, though). I also think it's important to keep in mind that you can literally do whatever you want with your blog - I was putting a lot of pressure on myself to upload 3 times a week and it just didn't work out. Just as Blogmas is not for me. Or prescheduling blog posts. And I guess that's okay even though I was struggling to accept that. We're all different and that's what makes blogging interesting. Oh and I am feeling the same way about Twitter, I don't even know how to get involved in one of those Blogger chats haha. And I don't know if that helps, but your blog is one of my favourites! x

    113-things-to-say.blogspot.com

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  5. Aw thank you SOOO much for the lovely comment! I can relate to everything you have said! I'd rather blog about things that make me happy, I can't stick to one thing! I also am now finding it hard to stick to schedules because I've recently started university so the pressure is on! Aw thank you so much, that's made my whole entire day! I absolutely love your blog too, definitely keep at it even if you feel down about it because i personally think it's amazing! Xxxxx

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  6. It makes me really sad that so many bloggers out there are just unhappy as you are about their blogs and blogging community. It has become a one giant game who can get more followers or gain more money from their blog. I genuinely think that blogging should be all about what you love and are interested in. If it's beauty, go for beauty. if it's rants, go for ranter. It's simple like that. But I feel like some people just want more attention, followers or comments, so they start writing only for that and not about what they genuinely want to. Also, the ones you said that don't actually read posts and only comment to gain viewers for their blog, are the ones I really dislike. It's like no one is actually interested in reading what YOU have to say. I will be posting post without no picture or just a plain image with text or quote and there will be those few "bloggers" that will comment "nice pictures", "love your blog, wanna do follow for follow?". Like really?!

    -Leta | The Nerdy Me

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    1. 100% agree! And yes it's so upsetting because you put so much hard work into your posts and a lot of people don't care to read them! And I can imagine how annoying and upsetting that is when people do that, I'm in the same boat. Ah, just keep having down days about my blog, I feel like it's got to be something that it isn't and will never be. Thank you for the lovely comment as always :) xxxx

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  7. I love your blog Becky! Seriously, I must've become one of your regulars, I read every post! We're supposed to enjoy our hobbies and have a little bit of fun whilst blogging, It's like a creative online outlet for us, right?! And a big congrats on your bloglovin' followers! We small blogs will make it one day, the bigger blogs will have to move aside for us! :)x

    xo
    Aimee | AimeeSueXO

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    1. Aw thank you so much Aimee! That mean's the world to me! And yes definitely, I'm not really a creative person, so I love being able to blog, hopefully it's improving my creative skills haha. And yes we will hahaha ;) xxx

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  8. Girl, you do you! You don't blog to be like others, you blog to share your voice! I know you know - it's not about following a trend, it's about being a trendsetter!

    I find that I sometimes follow super popular bloggers just for inspiration and sometimes to check out some of the people who's following them who may be a little more on my level in terms of content - but I'm learning to appreciate bloggers of all sorts which is making me into a more well-rounded blogger.

    I hope that you will find happiness once again in your blogging and I look forward to the excellent, unique, and authentic posts that you can be proud of :)

    Jasmine | The Sixth Disney Princess

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    1. LOVEEE IT! Thanks so much, that means the world for posting such a lovely comment!! And yes, I love following popular bloggers and youtubers for inspo, and to have a secret cry at how nice their blogs look hahaha. And wow thank you so much, honestly made me so happy xxxxx

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  9. i feel the same, i go through so many phases of hating my content and am unhappy with my photos! but i love your blog and your content. i think you're an amazing blogger!:-) i hope you're happy with your blog soon:-)xxx

    emjbarker.blogspot.co.uk

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    1. I feel the exact same way! And oh wow thank you, that means soo much to me! I absolutely love your blog and content too, thanks for a lovely comment xxx

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